


do we match like we used to such a long time ago (there's a hole in my soul where you're supposed to go)?

by namedawesome



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Snuggles?, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, You guys know the drill, again im sorry that this is so short but it just wanted to end right there sorry guys, but like short, but this has been in the works for like a year and a half, so sorry that its short?, uh, yeah i write slow, yeah this is one of those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25941859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namedawesome/pseuds/namedawesome
Summary: Samael had always had the Mark on the inside of his arm. When he was first formed, no one in the Silver City had known what it meant. Except for his Father, and whenever he would ask there would never be a reply. None of his other siblings had a Mark. He was the only one and it made him feel… separated from his siblings. So much so, that he’d started to spend more and more of his time alone than he wanted to. The only ones who really wanted to spend any significant amount of time with him were his sisters Azrael and Raziel.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 17
Kudos: 241





	do we match like we used to such a long time ago (there's a hole in my soul where you're supposed to go)?

**Author's Note:**

> the not-so-great soulmate au that no one asked for??? yay???

Samael had always had the Mark on the inside of his arm. When he was first formed, no one in the Silver City had known what it meant. Except for his Father, and whenever he would ask there would never be a reply. None of his other siblings had a Mark. He was the only one and it made him feel… separated from his siblings. So much so, that he’d started to spend more and more of his time alone than he wanted to. The only ones who really wanted to spend any significant amount of time with him were his sisters Azrael and Raziel. 

When he was commissioned by his Father to create the stars, he tried to ignore the wanting, the temptation, to put the pattern of his Mark in the sky… He couldn’t resist for long before he gave in. He put his Mark there in the sky (as close to his Father’s desired galaxy as he dared) and was glad that his siblings didn’t have a memory like his, because they would’ve seen it and asked him why he’d done it. He had no doubt that his Father knew, but He never said anything about it, never… never said much of anything at all, anymore unless it was to criticize him. His action, his inaction, his thoughts, and, well… It felt like he, they, all of his siblings, were being cast aside for these humans his Father was creating. 

He’d asked his Father one too many questions (he’d just wanted to know about the humans, what they were for, why they weren’t going to live in the Silver City with them, were they going to have jobs like he and his siblings did? Why couldn’t they have the freedom of choice like the humans did?) and he was punished for it. He was beaten by his twin brother, wings broken, and his grace taken… He’d just wanted to know! He was just curious, and he was being beaten and broken and… It wasn’t fair!

His mother watched, his siblings… They all watched, every single one of them, and he was… That feeling was… (it broke him to pieces). He fell and screamed and burned and he… he hadn’t meant to want like that, but he couldn’t help it. Even as he burned his Mark stayed with him. It was like a brand, but he couldn’t bring himself to hate it.

He hated them. All of them, the new emotion roiling in his chest and making him want to scream at them, at anyone until it made him hoarse. It made it that much easier to become the monster he looked like. He fought and clawed and pulled apart his enemies. He was king amongst the demons, amongst the worst of the universe and he stayed that way for eons. 

One day, he’d had enough of his kingdom and the worthless, writhing masses and he ventured once more into his Father’s creations. They were fascinating and they spoke to him like they didn’t know who he was. They had Marks like he did! They told him what they were called, what they were for! And the fact that he had someone out there just for him… well, that felt better than he’d ever thought it could. He would have someone, someone that no one could ever take from him!

Before he could really enjoy it, Amenadiel chased him back to hell. He just… he needed a break. He couldn’t stay with the worst of humanity for the rest of eternity! He was tired and he felt... he felt like he was drowning in them, like they were choking him with their evil deeds and blaming him for them. He just wanted them to see, to realize, that they were the evil ones, that he never, ever made them do anything! They were the ones, why couldn’t they see?

Eons and eons passed, and finally, finally, he’d had enough. So he went to the surface, and he brought Maze with him, and he stayed, no matter what Amenadiel said, because they had a deal. He was on Earth, in Los Angeles, for five years, constantly checking for a match to his Mark, but finding none and feeling more alone surrounded by people than he’d ever felt before. He just… he was lonely…

He felt a pull towards the Detective the moment he met her. He’d given up searching in the last few months, didn’t ask to see Marks anymore like he had done before… It didn’t register with him. And he never felt the need to ask her about her Mark because it just felt… They felt right together. So he never asked and neither did she. 

×××

What he hadn’t known was that she had seen his, that she knew it on sight from staring at her own every day, so of course she caught it, but then she had seen his back, his scars and she’d wanted to cry because she couldn’t imagine the pain involved in whatever had happened to him, and if it was true, if it was his father who had done that to him… she just wanted to talk to his dad, just talk with her gun and handcuffs and a warrant for his arrest because how dare he hurt her Marked (she’d never felt this… territorial about another person before, and she just assumed that it was because he was hers). 

So she knew, and she’d thought that for a moment that he did too, but then one day at a stakeout one of their wandering discussions lead them down that path and she’d found out that he didn’t know it was her. 

“I’m the only one in my family that has one…” he’d told her, and he sounded sad, “and Dad never told me what they were for or why He put them on you humans…”

“Are you still looking for your Marked?” she’d asked, ignoring his crazy talk.

“No, I gave up,” he’d said. “A few months before I’d met you actually.” 

And usually this would be the point where the other person asked if she’d found hers or what her mark was, but he didn’t. Marks were a terribly private thing and she was a private person, so he knew not to ask. She very much wanted to see his, to touch it, but she knew that would be too much and they weren’t ready. 

And Malcom happened, and Lucifer was… he said that he died but she couldn’t believe that but… but the burning sensation she’d felt on her arm had been so very real and she’d panicked. She’d had a few nightmares about that feeling, about feeling that burning and then seeing him on the floor and he hadn’t woken up and then she had to watch Malcom kill her daughter and that… that more than anything made her keep him close. 

But then her poisoning had happened, and they had kissed beforehand, and she… she had been feeling great, but then he’d left her, he’d left her and then he brought back Candy… So she’d separated herself from him and it… it hurt (just like her mark had right after she’d been poisoned, it ached so much and she was very confused about that, and every time she remembered she wanted to ask Lucifer if he’d died again which was… it was insane! And yet…). And then he’d gotten divorced and he just… he was being himself again, but he held some distance from her, and she thought… she thought that maybe he’d seen her mark somehow… But then he never did anything, and she thought that perhaps he hadn’t.

Slowly, they grew closer again, and he would spend a few days a month with her and Trixie playing games and singing karaoke which was nice and fun and she loved it but… but they weren’t how she wanted them to be and that made her sad, had made her look for stability in someone else. So she had been with Marcus and he had killed Charlotte and now… now she knew her Marked was the… the Devil and… well, if he’d had his mark since the beginning then… then it meant that in some way, they were always meant for each other (and maybe they were just meant to be friends, but it… it had always felt like more and she… she wanted more with him, it felt like there was more to have with him because every single time they had kissed it felt… it felt like she was a part of him and he was a part of her… She felt like they were a home for each other).

So here she was standing outside Lux, trying to gain the courage to go in. She knew that she would be welcome, that she was always welcome, but she… she was scared. Not of him, not of what he was or what he’d done, but because she was going to talk to him. She was going to have a serious talk with the man she was in love with, with her Marked, and she was maybe going to show him her Mark. So she sighed and steadied herself and then she walked into Lux like she owned it.

×××

Lucifer had been sitting at his piano just… mourning the loss of one of the most important people in his life. She would never want to see him again and he was wondering if he should go back to hell when the elevator dinged. He sighed, about to tell whoever it was to leave, when he turned and saw the Detective. He gaped at her. She was… she was so beautiful, and he was… he wasn’t ready to face her (but she was here, and he had to, so he prepared himself for being yelled at). “Detective?” he asked warily, like he was afraid of what she was going to say. 

“Hey, Lucifer,” she offered him a smile.

Well, that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting… “Hello…” he replied, still wary, but also confused. 

“I, um… I wanted to apologize,” Chloe said, and Lucifer gaped at her. 

“Whatever for?” he asked, completely astonished. He just… Why was she apologizing to him? He should be apologizing to her!

“You were telling the truth the whole time and I never believed you… And I… I couldn’t believe it when you showed me and… I’m sorry, and I’m sorry it took me so long to come around,” she told him. He was gaping at her and she must have felt awkward because she kept talking. “Look, Lucifer, I know that I-”

He cut her off. “No, darling, I… I should apologize to you… You should never have seen that… I… It’s monstrous,” he chuckled mirthlessly. “Bit like me actually…”

“You’re not a monster,” Chloe told him, and then she sat down next to him at the piano. He stared at her like he didn’t understand what she meant, because he didn’t, but… how could she think that? How could she… “You’re just Lucifer…”

He gaped at her. 

“You’re just Lucifer, and I…” She sighed heavily. “Do you remember when I saw your scars?”

Lucifer nodded.

Chloe took a deep breath. “I saw your Mark too…”

Lucifer offered a little chuckle, “A lot of people have, Detective…”

“No, Lucifer… I… we match…” she practically stuttered at him. 

He was about to respond when he processed what she’d said. He turned away from her and spent a long moment staring at his hands on the keys. She had… she was… all this time and… “When you were… Jimmy Barnes, I felt…” and he touched the inside of his bicep with his fingertips. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her shiver and brush hers against her own Mark, in the same place as his. “It-” 

“Burns,” she finished, tears in her eyes. “Mine was sore after Malcolm and…”

“Your poisoning…” he turned to look at her.

She nodded. “Yeah, and I thought you had-, but you were there when I woke up and I… I wasn’t sure, but you ran…” She looked down at her hands for a moment, but she caught his when she looked up. “But now… We kissed before- before everything and I thought that maybe…”

“Darling, I’m the Devil…” he barely dared to breathe.

“No, I know, I know, but… Lucifer,” she sighed. Her voice floated along the syllables of his name in the most delectable way. She stroked her Mark again and he shivered almost violently. He’d never felt that happen while she was so close. He’d known that whoever his soulmate was, they liked touching their Mark, could feel them, how they felt like home on the other side of the faint lines on his skin. He’d spent most of the last month alone, no one had really touched him, and this was just a little bit overwhelming. He shivered again and reached out to stay her hand. He didn’t know if he could stand it any longer.

“Chloe…” he started, on a rasp. He had to clear his throat before he continued. “I’m evil incarnate, no matter what your… the Mark doesn’t… you couldn’t care for me like that…”

She shook her head, “But I do, Lucifer, I- I love you. And this isn’t just because we’re each other’s Marked! I’ve known for a long time that we were…”

“But you didn’t know that I was the Devil,” he growled. 

“I know now, Lucifer,” she gentled him, her words and her hands smoothing down his hackles. “I still love you…”

Lucifer was breathless at her words, the feel of her hands against his, her voice… Sometimes he hated that she made him into something he thought he’d never be, but for this… this peace that she brought him, with her hands and words and presence… he could never hate her for that. “I- I love you too,” he gasped. He struggled with what to say for the longest moment, “Can I… will you…” His eyes flashed down to where she had been stroking her Mark (and the memory of feeling that phantom touch after Uriel was… he had no idea how many times that memory had given him comfort, but it had, and it had been _her_ all along, helping him even when he didn’t know it…). 

She took off her jacket without him having to say a word. She was wearing short sleeves, something she’d never really done around him before. She turned to him and rolled her sleeve up to her shoulder so that he could see. They matched perfectly. He knew they would, Chloe was never the type to lie, not about something like this. He reached out a hand and touched her Mark, a barely-there touch making them both shiver. “It’s Perseus and Andromeda,” she whispered. “I mean, you probably already knew that, but…”

“I put it in the sky…” he whispered. “I’ve… I’m the only one of my family to…” He looked away from her Mark, but let his thumb trace the pattern he knew better than any other. “I put it in the sky because I wanted to know what it meant but no one ever told me…”

Chloe’s eyes widened, “You… put it in the sky?”

“Dad asked me to make the universe,” he whispered. “I tried not to… but I… I had to know… Wanting… it’s how I Fell, how I became the monster you saw…”

“There was no monster, Lucifer, just you,” she said, and she cupped his cheek bringing their foreheads together. It could have been for a moment of peace, or just because she wanted him close. He’d seen others find their Marked before, it was like they had to be as close to each other as they could get. He had no idea how the Detective, how Chloe, had kept away from him like she had. Especially if she had felt the same way he was feeling at this moment. There was an overwhelming need to pull her into his lap, to hold her as close as he could, but he didn’t know if it was what she wanted. Almost against his will, he pulled at her arm until she was seated in his lap, curled against him. 

He had thought that when he found his Marked, that they would be driven to be with each other sexually, because that was just how he was, how he had always been… But this, with Chloe, just holding her seemed like it was enough. He could tell that something was wrong. He had only seen her like this a few times, where a case or a victim had bothered her in a particular way. He never knew what to do in these instances, except to offer his silent support. This was almost exactly like when he told her that her father would have been proud of her. He felt a tear land on his hand, which had been holding hers as she had curled up in his lap. “What’s the matter, darling?” he whispered into her hair. 

“This case is really difficult, and there’s this teenager… Her mom died and I just keep thinking that one day that’s going to be Trixie,” Chloe whispered into the collar of his shirt. “That I’m going to die in the line of duty and I-”

Lucifer clutched her tighter with a soft snarl at the thought of her dying, “It won’t happen.”

“Lucifer,” she sighed.

“It won’t!” he said, a little softer this time, into her hair. “I won’t let it happen…”

She offered him a sad laugh, “It doesn’t work like that, Lucifer…”

Lucifer clutched her tighter. “I pulled you back from the edge before, I can do it again,” he told her. 

“Lucifer, what-” she started, but then she looked up at him. “Jimmy Barnes…”

He couldn’t look at her. “You said you didn’t want to die…” They were quiet for a long moment after that, Lucifer still clutching her close but terribly frightened that she would tell him that he was right, that he was evil and that he should leave. But she never did, she just laid her head against his shoulder and cuddled closer. They sat that way for the longest moment until Lucifer stood suddenly, Chloe still in his arms. She squeaked and clutched at him, making him smirk. “Just getting a bit more comfortable, Detective,” he said, placing a kiss to her hair. 

He knew she would want to ask questions; he just didn’t know what they would be about, but he thought that she would like to be a bit more comfortable while asking them. He walked them towards the couch and settled onto it before burying his nose in her hair and holding her tightly. The peace she brought him was… he had never felt anything like it. 

Chloe clutched at him tighter, the tension slowly leaving her body. “Lucifer,” she sighed into the skin of his neck. He tried not to shudder against her, but he couldn’t help it. 

She didn’t say another word and he was glad because it meant that he could hold her for as long as he liked. He sighed. He had Chloe in his arms and she definitely didn’t hate him… She loved him, she’d told him so… 

She didn’t hate him, he had his Marked now, turns out he’d had her for a while. He pulled away and looked down at her, he was sure that his entire face softened when she looked up at him and gave him that soft smile of hers. He cupped her cheek, stroking it with his thumb. She placed her hand over his and he had to smile at her, as soft and as gentle as she had at him. In the next moment, their lips met, soft and light and everything he remembered it being from all the times they’ve kissed, but more than ever, and Lucifer felt suddenly that he would never want for anything again. 

Except for Chloe. Especially if she kept kissing him. 

And, even more so if she would _always_ look at him with those eyes of hers (full of whatever she was feeling for him, he supposed) when she was done kissing him breathless. But, again, especially if she kept kissing him.


End file.
